


Heavy eyes

by Subtle_Shenanigans



Series: As The Pendulum Swings, And The Grandfather Chimes [11]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Depression, Depression is a son of a hamster, Depression is like a soft muted black, GUESS WHAT, Gen, Heavy warnings for depressed thinking, I have Asperger's Syndrome, Mentions of Anxiety, Second person POV, amd anxiety a worrying yellowish green, freaking black is worse than the green recently
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-17
Updated: 2018-05-17
Packaged: 2019-05-08 02:37:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14684685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Subtle_Shenanigans/pseuds/Subtle_Shenanigans
Summary: You can't.





	Heavy eyes

**Author's Note:**

> Just a vent piece because my depression isn't do me very good at the moment.
> 
> But don't worry; I'm not suicidal or anything, and I'll be okay.

You can't.

You _can't_.

There's gum in the gears of your brain, skull too warm around the eyes - you can't focus; too slow when everything else is too fast.

Its getting tiring, exhausting, you can't hold focus on anything except your own thoughts returning to a point you'd rather ignore.

Wothless would be better than burden.

Focus, focus, on _anything_ else; guilt in your distraction, arising from anxiety, because you never, ever do enough, nevertheless it'll never be good. In the way, making things worse; a mess, something wrong with you because you are unable to think like them-

You want to sleep. Sleep in a coma for two months. 

But you also don't want to.

You _have_  to get up and get things done, but it feels so _pointless_ and unnecessary when your progress is set back _behind_ zero, and-

You're blaming yourself, again and again, when logically you _know_ why you have such a hard time, why you mess up so much.

But emotionally it doesn't catch up with you; doesn't make sense.

You hate being back at this point; you haven't been in years.

And you don't want to die; it's not in _that_ vein of thinking. It's just. . .

. . .so hard, when you feel like it'd be better for everyone if you were gone.


End file.
